I really wanted to just chat and brighten her day and mine, two people interacting that was all, she knows me enough now to know that I don’t dwell on things like the news or anything terrible that has happened in the world so I Iove that.
On further discussion I was telling her how my own mother pulled herself through two strokes in a row just last year that could have been fatal but because of her not giving up on ‘life’ she is now alive and well. She mused and said well I’m a widow and she has a husband for support so that is why she is better than I. At that moment it struck me how after nearly thirty years of being a widow she now felt that this was her reason for feeling poorly, because she is alone. I understand that by having a mate for life can increase or decrease your chances for a better life, (pardon the pun) depending on your perspective of that one lol...
I wondered why after so many years she chose to be alone or a widow if she was not happy. Wouldn’t you want to be happy and not sad?
Immediately it came to me, “is it too late to start living at 86”? according to my mother it’s never too late, she believes she has a second life now and as long as she can put one foot in-front of the other, have a laugh with her dog each day and eat seafood when she wants it then that’s living!
My elderly lady friend has been a widow for many years, she is a good woman who struggles to go to church each Sunday, has tightened her purse strings all her life and has the most amazing garden yet sees her life as over because she is alone. She even told me there are some things in life that are out of your control...to which I answered “that is because you can go through life and not take control”
When do you start living if you have given up years ago!
In such a contrast of the two perspectives I then thought to myself...I KNOW WHAT PERSPECTIVE I’D WANT TO HAVE AT HER AGE...and it’s not the latter.
Every-day life is a great experience for me with so much to “learn or unlearn” from our elders. For both these women although they have a different perspective from each other there is no ‘right or wrong’ way to think because we are all individuals, we all choose to believe what we want to believe.
Right or wrong, you choose...
