I use to think about validation as a stamp that was put on something as a way of saying Yes you are good or passed or No meant no good or rejected but in this case I refer to validating other people and in particular yourself. To give you a visual of this would be to say as an example I came from a family of 12 and living in a large family has its definite benefits and pitfalls. My beautiful parents like many probably wished they had a hand-book about parenting yet they did their very best at the time. All of my child-hood I would visualize myself as someone on a production line with a stamp being validated for something, so as I grew into my early adult years you can guess what type of job I was in...and that is fair and accurate to say ‘what-ever you think about , you become’.
So why did my thinking cause this, well many things I probably heard someone say something to me early in life as a child which brings me to my own children and all children to be specific.
Fast-forward to my adult life and the realisation of thinking patterns from past conditioning, upbringing, friends, family and acquaintances. Understanding where you started from and where you are going from here is really the only thing that matters to you and ultimately ‘effects’ the people closest to you namely your children. We have all heard of the saying “The Child Within” referring to your innocence and purity from the beginning of your life. Rekindling memories of my children and young babies always brings up for me the purity and spiritual little beings of pure love that knows only this... and nothing else matters to them. They are saying ‘just love me, feed me and care for me I am yours’ who could resist such a beautiful and loving feeling and bond between parent and child.
Your validation starts from that time and continues all through-out their child-hood, young teens and adult-life. There is no stopping, turning back, toning down, re-direction, caution and fear-based awareness. Continued validation is ‘infinite’ and endless towards your child and towards all other children.
The parent becomes the student from parent-hood and your learning takes on a whole new meaning of self-awareness, responsibility and duty. If you are the parent and one who wishes only the best and continued support for your child and children for the future then doing all you can towards your own learning and developing yourself fully with the ‘right’ knowledge and good parenting to only “validate” your child without any other agenda then
I VALIDATE YOU!
You are a super-human and you’ve passed.
3 comments:
Powerful stuff it shows to me how committed you are to the up bringing of your children & the general respect, gratitude you have for your own parents. i understand your point of view and at times we neglect to look upon those special moments we all share as a family. Look forward to read more inspiring articles by you.
Thankyou for sharing this post, In psychology and human communication, validation is the reciprocated communication of respect which communicates that the other's opinions are acknowledged, respected and heard.
Hey Faenza Great Post Your thoughts are quite thought provoking. My kids are young adults now and quite often when they were growing up I wished that they had come with an instruction manual.As a parent you do your best to get it right but as you grow older and develop you learn better ways to communicate and connect with your kids. The principals you outlined are very important Thanks for sharing
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